Several years ago I was going through a really tough time. During this period of difficulty, I had a dream that I will never forget.
I remember going to bed feeling hopeless and drained one night, and falling asleep in a state of despair and exhaustion.
I had a dream that I was dead. In the dream there was someone beside me that I couldn’t see, but I could hear a voice and feel a loving presence. I remember feeling really sad and full of remorse that I had died, and wishing that I could go back to earth, if even for just two minutes.
The voice beside me offered to fulfill my wish, and sent me back for two minutes. In a blink I was dropped back down to earth in my familiar body, but surrounded by totally different circumstances. In this new scenario I had just found out that the love of my life was having an affair with another woman and I was feeling heartbroken and alone.
Elated with being back, I didn’t even care about the ‘scene’ going on around me, I felt relieved and grateful just to be back. Knowing my two minutes would be up soon I soaked in every precious second of heartbreak, sorrow, betrayal and loss.
After getting pulled out of this scene and back to the ‘dead’ state, I asked again if I could please please be allowed to go back for just two minutes more. The voice agreed and I was allowed to go back.
This time I was dropped into yet another totally different scenario. In this scene I was happily married but we were going bankrupt and losing everything. Knowing that the two minutes were very fleeting, I soaked in every second of financial distress, worry and uncertainty.
Once more I was pulled out, floating in deadness with the loving voice. Again I asked to go back, and again I was given that wish.
This time I became aware of an interesting time distortion, in the scene around me everything was falling apart, I was feeling the impossibility of ‘holding it together’. Knowing the two minutes would end soon I drank in ‘falling apart’ and the feeling of losing control. I noticed that what felt to me like two minutes was different than the time line playing out in the scene around me. Hours were racing by in the situation around me, while my two minutes were very slowly ticking by.
At some point I became aware that I was dreaming and a very lucid thought, ‘OK you have made your point’ shattered the dream. I found myself lying in bed starting at the ceiling. For a few minutes I drank in the sensation of being alive, really alive. I drank in what it means to be human, and the sweetness of all the things we experience here. Something about this dream had given me a glimpse of just how rare and precious it is to be human.
The memory of the dream has faded somewhat over the years, but the feeling of life being fleeting and precious has never really left. I am often reminded of this dream during times of overwhelm or strong emotional responses to situations. I am often reminded to take the time and drink in sorrow, overwhelm, or heartbreak; knowing that the whole thing is so very fleeting. Our humanity is truly a gift to be cherished.
